if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
