i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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