i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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