Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry agtripleog hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.

Fav 16 1104 4234
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.

Fav 7 5571 1221
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(229): View more from Georgia

Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.

Fav 10 5170 2015
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water

Fav 6 2937 1253
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?

(312): View more from Illinois

You're the best girlfriend ever.

Fav 18 4922 1566
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.

Fav 2 699 1461
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.

Fav 5 1128 790
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...

Fav 1 32 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?

Fav 0 4 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT