Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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