You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
