Please, let me fuck your mom
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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