Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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