insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We are two peas in an std pod
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
