First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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