Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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