dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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