i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize