What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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