I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
