Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
