Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
