I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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