How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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