I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
