My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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