At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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