Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize