"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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