she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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