After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
