Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize