i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize