Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
