My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
