which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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