It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
