I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize