You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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