Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
