Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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