its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
