Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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