is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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