He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
