I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize