I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
