Don't you send me to vm
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
