office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
