dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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