honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
