dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
