he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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