gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I will pee on everything he values.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
