i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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