is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
