I don't think brook has ever known best
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
