Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
