i barfeds in our rink
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
