I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My vagina is officially offended.
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