we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
