there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
